Memoir writing is like the Decision Making Olympics. With nearly every stroke of the pen or tap of a key, you’ll be making a series of important and often very difficult choices.
You’ll ask:
What part of my life should I write about?
Should I include ____, even if it might hurt someone?
Where should I begin the story?
How much about myself and others should I reveal?
When can I say this is finished?
And so many more! The constant decision-making is a big part of what makes memoir writing a challenge.
First Things First
Before we look at how to manage all these decisions, let’s first establish that these are decisions that must be made before your work is shared, but they don’t need to be decided before you can write!
One of the most important principles I share with memoir writers is to write your first draft for yourself and only yourself. Download the best and worst of what you have to say without worrying about any of these questions. They are irrelevant when you’re first getting started.
However, there will come a time when these decisions must be made, so even if you’re just getting started, it’s wise to plant some seed questions in your mind that can germinate as you write.
Values in Memoir Writing
Here’s a great quote for when you arrive at one of the many decisions points in telling your story:
Knowing your values is just another way of saying that you’ve clearly identified what is most important to you. To discover your values when writing your memoir, ask yourself these questions:
Why did I want to write this memoir?
Who do I hope will read it?
What do I want the reader to take away from my story?
What would I like to be said about this book and me, as its author, after someone has read it?
What impact do I want this memoir to have on the people who are featured in it or those who love them?
By answering these questions, your values will become clearer. Then apply those values to your decisions as you write and revise.
Consider writing your answers to these questions and keeping them visible in your work space so you will have a reminder that you can return to the next time you face a tough decision.
Your Turn
What is one of the hardest decisions you’re facing as you write or think about writing your memoir?
What other questions could you ask yourself to clarify your values?
Please share your thoughts in the comments!
Do you feel stuck on your memoir project because of concerns about what others might think? Are you worried about hurting others, not being believed, or revealing embarrassing information? My free download, 6 Options for Handling Sensitive Topics in Your Memoir, will help you explore options for addressing these concerns.